Five years ago, I was a hopeless drug addict walking into detox for the third time. The police followed me to Parkwood (hospital) because I was driving a rental car that I had never returned. It was in my dad’s name, so they allowed him to meet me there and take it back. God’s mercy covered my mistakes that day. I was lost, broken, spiritually empty, and physically dependent on many different drugs.
I started using drugs during my freshman year of college, but drinking was a problem way before that. I’m now 42. It’s safe to say I struggled for 20 years— I dropped out of college, lost many good jobs, lost material things that I’d worked hard for, I lost the trust of my family and friends… and… I’d lost myself. I had no idea who I was at 37.
My husband was still willing to help me but from a distance. He stopped enabling me – everyone had stopped enabling me. And honestly, that is what saved my life!
I was ready to chase my dreams instead of the drugs
After detox, my husband wouldn’t allow me to live with him unless I went to treatment. So I ended up at the Haven House in Oxford, MS (another blessing!). After I left there I had a spiritual awakening, laying in the corner of a room, at my husband’s house. (where I still live today). I surrendered that day. I gave all of my life to Christ. It was a peace I’d never experienced. The Lord placed people in my life since that day, who have helped me walk every step of the way. FINALLY, I was ready to chase my dreams instead of the drugs! And I was about to turn my addiction into bettering myself instead of killing myself.
On October 21, 2019, I was 5 years clean. And I am still clean today! April 29, 2020. I am happy to be alive and who God created me to be. I have rebuilt my life, from the very bottom. My purpose and passion are helping others.
There’s a better life on the other side.
The Lord has blessed me with my position at Haven House, going on 4 years. My husband and I have a pretty amazing relationship. I had 3 years clean when my dad passed away. So he got to see me healthy and happy. I’ve mended the relationships with my family… some are still a work in progress because I caused a lot of damage. But, I’ll never give up trying.
To all the people who are stuck in addiction… I want you to know that you can have this too! I share this for YOU. To give you HOPE and to know there’s a better life on the other side. You have to reach out. You have to start over. You have to give yourself time to heal. That often means taking off time to do so. This is a huge battle, and you can’t do it alone.
For the family’s out there watching their loved one in active addiction… DONT GIVE UP!
For the family’s out there watching their loved one in active addiction … separate yourself enough to take care of yourself first, but DON’T GIVE UP! You will both be sick if you don’t take care of yourself. Prayer works miracles hand it over, but don’t give up.
We are in the middle of a drug (spiritual) crisis right now. We’ve got to get rid of the stigma placed on those with drug addiction and mental illness. It’s killing people. If it’s you… I promise you’re not the only one – look at your neighbors on each side- chances are one of them has an addiction or struggles with their mental health. It’s ok to talk about it. If you need help, reach out. Don’t be afraid. This is your life, and it’s worth the fight. Please feel free to inbox me anytime. I have a treasure trove of resources.
It’s ok to not be ok but it’s NOT ok to stay that way. Thank you to everyone who’s helped me get to where I am today! I will forever be grateful.